Christmas Morning , 2008

It is not even dawn as I post this A.M. The kids are still tucked sleepily in their beds....ahem, well Reed is tucked into mine between his Daddy and a pillow where I was just laying. I can hardly wait for them to get up, I know I get as or more excited than everyone in this house.

I LOVE Christmas......and for all the reasons you should.....I don't care if I ever get a gift it is just the being with my family and friends and remembering........
I do a lot of that this time of year.....remembering.....

My little brother Jason will be gone 10 years next year, and on mornings like this my heart aches like that first day I lost him. Christmas was his favorite too......we use to wake up so early, but no matter how many fights we had we always woke the other up to go see what Santa brought, and it was usually in the wee hours of the morning. I guess that is why I get up so early before every one else, even if I go back to bed so the kids can get me up in a few hours (or minutes you never know with Reed he is usually an early riser, but so far in 5 years he has habitually slept in on Christmas morning.)
I guess I think it brings us close again, Jason and I, my memories of my family are all good at Christmas, so my heart always remembers him the most today. He loved this morning as much as me, and I will always love it b/c of him.........I love and miss you so much, Merry Christmas, Jay..........
love,
Sissy
So, I am off back to bed, so I can get the full effect of being "awakened" to screams of "Santa has came" you would be crazy not to love this morning.....Merry Christmas to all

So long since I wrote last

Well, weeks have flown by since my last post and we have had Tate's 2nd birthday, finished all our Christmas shopping, and are getting ready for Christmas programs, and Reed's upcoming 5th birthday.

All is well and cold here in Ardvegas, at least cold for the South. I sort of hope it sticks around for Christmas.....may be even have some snow!!! I haven't had snow on Christmas since Reed was two.....

I need to begin wrapping gifts soon, and working on my Christmas letters and cards.....

Just wanted to update life.....

So the season is over.....what now

Well, season '08 has come and gone and it was a pretty fair showing. WE would have all liked to have one them all, but that is not going to happen here in Ardvegas. Oh, well here is to next season. So, we have Coach back in our lives again, and Mom is VERY happy, and so are the boys. It is really nice to have someone to share the responsibilities of parenting with for a while. You know the season is funny, you can't wait for it to start, can't wait for it to end, can't believe it is over, and are already looking forward to next season. Now for the dreaded, "hey I called about this job, and would you like to live here" or "what if I don't get hired back?" I remember why I hate the off season so much now!

Tate and Coach's BD's are just two weeks away. Bug will be two....just how in the world did that happen so fast. It just seems like he just got here! Then on to Christmas and Reed's 5th BD! We are busy trying to figure out what we are going to get the little buggers for their Birthdays and from Santa! I love Christmas it is by far my fav. holiday.....and if I wasn't so incredibly tired right now I might just write more about it, but I am off to bed.

This too shall pass.....

So, being a SAHM is not what I thougth it would be! This is my third year of being home with my two wonderful sons, but it just never seems to get any easier. The incredible guilt I felt when I worked and had to leave Reed at daycare, has now been replaced by the incredible guilt of wanting to run away on a daily basis. I do love them, but some days I can not bear to look at them from sheer resentment. I find it hard to even type these words, b/c mothers are suppose to be all-loving, nuturing, and grateful for this wonderful gift of watching their children grow. However, that sentiment makes me want to vomit! I know that I can not chose a paying job/career over my kids b/c I would never forgive myself. I just wonder will being home with me during their formative years scar them for life, so that they hate me as much as I have been hating these long, lonely days! I just long for another (understanding) adult, one to sympathize with these feelings. Yet, all I get is,"one day you'll miss all this", and "Oh, no I LOVE being with my kids all day", and my favorite, "but this is what YOU wanted" ugh!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I wanted to grow up when I was little, that didn't turn out the way I thought either!
This is the first time in my life I have absolutely no adult friends/aquantinces/confidants/hell neighbors for that matter to talk to. If I do call someone they , like me, must quickly wrap up the conversation b/c of all the screaming, wanting attention, did I say loud children running around.
I know it is so Pity partyish to vent in this matter, and that too makes me sick at my stomach....I mean , really Kim get over yourself and put your big girl panties on for God's sake!
This SAHM gig is really a gigantic catch 22 for me, atleast. I hated working when I worked, b/c I dropped off my screaming/wretching child at daycare, now I very often loathe being home all day with 2 screaming/wretching children! Seriously, would they really be better off at daycare??? Atleast when I worked I got to go to the potty by myself, and see other human beings, not to mention buy nice shoes and bags (that being really important of course and vain)
I honestly wonder if I am doing a good job......a half-ass job, or any job at all? Most the time I just feel like a maid!
Yet, there is no fix........it is unfixable.......it is where I am right now.......and this too shall pass, but at what cost to my precious boys?
I mean they will just grow up and like their father more than me......I mean heck he is a much cooler guy and basically everyone loves him......they will feel about me the way I feel about my parents/in-laws.......they are just crazy, guilt-trippers who have no life except living vicariously through their children........
Is that going to happen after all the sacrafices I have made, they will just end up finding me annoying and a real pain in the ass! Not to mention, not being able to remember all the things I did for them when they were small.......Is this really parenting.....this is what we get for a lifetime of love and support.....kids who end up not wanting to be in the same room with us, except at holidays and the whole time they just want us to shut-up, and all we can do is talk about the good old days when they were little and how much we miss it!!!!!!
This is a real sick joke, I wonder do our parents find it amusing to see the circle completed, do they find joy when our children run amuck and make us look incredible inept, or are those memories just stuck behind being a delriously happy grandparent?

I know my dear coach is reading this (b/c I have no other friedns to read it and I certainly don't want my parents reading it) thinking I leave my boys with this crazy heifer? Coach I do love them, you know that right? You know how much I really do appreciate the opportunity to be the one who sees them grow up....I hope you understand why I need to vent on this blog.......I can't stand to say it to you directly.....you wouldn't hear me anyway....not during the season. I know you think you can just fix it, so just put that notion away.......This is always the hardest part of the year for me right in the middle of the season.......the days are soooooooo long.....did I mention how long the days are????? It seems that you will never come home, and the weekends, OMG they just drag on and on..........I really hate venting to you........with all the things you have going on, this is just one more shitty detail of life that is laid on you.......but you are the only other person I see over the age of 4 daily!!
OH, and a big Thanks for taking us with you to Staples the other night...it may seem so insignificant to you ( and I know eating out with small children is not really your fav thing), but it was a chance to get out of the house and have another adult take on some of the responsibility of this parenting gig.......it was truly the highlight of the week.

Well, I have been venting long enough..........and I sort of feel a bit better, sort of, so up go the big girl panties and here's to the rest of the day

To the Coach.....and my significant other

So, here is our 2008 football program picture.....and the boys are too cute......I haven't had much time to post lately....there is just so much going on in the life of a coaching family. Coach has been complaining that I haven't updated in a while, so in order to give him something to read in his downtime.....here goes.

First and foremost Coach......so you sent me an email thanking me for being so excited after Fridays super win against the Indians........no thanks is needed for supporting you......it is never about you....it is about us. This is not just your life, but rather ours. Yes, this is your chosen profession, but it really is more than that isn't it. Most people do not LOVE their professions, they earn a paycheck for what they do and go about their business. Not you......you live it, breath it, cherish it. It takes you away from us yes.......and that SUCKS and we absolutely hate that our whole livelihood, paying the bills, and living conditions depend upon 11 teenage boys, and 5 coaches. However, what else would we be doing on Friday nights?? Ha, Ha j/k. No really, we joke that it is on their shoulders, but those boys would die for you.....so I believe our mortgage and grocery bill is safe in their hands....lol. I sometimes think you place to much emphasis on their role, and sometimes you shouldn't be so hard on them....they are only boys. But then I remember that they may be boys right now, but for many of them manhood is just around the corner. They need to know pressure, hardship, disappointment, and most importantly they must know how much they are loved and cared for........even if they screw up and blow it.

I have never been so proud of you as I am right now.........even when we won our state championship as assistants.......those boys earned something Friday, yea they won a game....but more importantly they won respect......and what man can function without respect. That is why year one's team did so well, and why last year's team kept losing.......I forget, as many women do, respect is not that important to the females.......but it is the most important thing to all men. Without it they feel they are just not real men. Thanks for giving them what they needed to make it happen for them.......they did it......but you and the staff prepared them to do it......

As our sermon progressed Sunday.....I know you doubt they can pull a win over the powerhouses late in our schedule.....and this is more than likely true.....but we must prepare to win, we must "load our sling and get ready for the next giant". Maybe our giant isn't to win.....maybe it is to compete and leave with utmost respect with our heads held high.......

So, as you prepare for the next three games.......Load you sling and RUN toward the giant.....you never know what God will make possible......but you must believe you can and "don't stay camped out in doubt" I know all this is so very cliche', but I believe in you....and those boys.......make them keep believing the can, work them hard to prepare, and they will amaze you and themselves.

1 Samuel 17:48-49 As the philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead, and he fell face down on the ground.

Found this site for inspirational messages http://www.motivational-inspirational-corner.com/getquote.html?categoryid=40

Check it out......but here is one of my faves from the page

Elmer Davis "The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you."

I love you Coach........I never like to say good luck.....b/c we both know luck has nothing to do with winning......touchdowns, lack of penalties, no interceptions, and of course good sideline judges and referees are what win football games.....lol

So, here's to good calls and refs who can see really well......

Is this kid for real???

So, today was my first MOPS meeting and I was really psyched to be around other SAHMommies for some real conversation and adult time. Well, went to drop the bug off at his room and Reedman just melted down, and I honestly just didn't want to make it worse by forcing him to stay cuz I knew he would blow chunks and that is not a good way to start off you first day in the class. Needless to say, I took him with me to the meeting and he was AWESOME, my son who can't sit still for more than 2 seconds sat in his own chair and was quiet and STILL for just about the entire time!!!!! He helped with the craft, cutting out laminate pages and did an outstanding job. I kept asking if he wanted to go play on the playground or have snack with his class, but he just wanted to be with me. The bad thing here is Reed's mind is like an elephant he will not forget I let him stay with me this time, and will expect to stay every time!!! The whole point of going to MOPS is to get a break from the kiddos and have mommy time......

Well, our season is not so great as of right now......2 games and 2 loses thus far......we had our second staff party and as always it was really fun.

I hate to cut it short, but gotta go do some housework

Reedisms: Holding Bed Buddy the other day before school, and I ask if BB is going with us, he says , "no, I just want to give him on more snuggle" I know to precious

Daily Bug: "Me Milk" "MeCup" "MeTaggie" well we got the idea of whose it is now

It's Footbal time in Ardmore

Well, it is game day (well, actually it's Jamboree Day, but who cares?) and I am so excited. I get this way every year, where I am so ready for the games to begin, I can't sleep and I am anxious all day for it to be 7PM (gametime). I have already laid out our tiger outfits, the bags, the snacks, the drinks and candy for the kids, and the chairs, toys, and stroller is ready to go in the van.
I won't say I stress about winning, but I would sort of be lying. I want to win so bad I can't hardly stand it. The funny thing is I am not all that competitive, the game is not that important to me, but the paycheck that comes with it is. Coach has said so many times, "our lively hood is on the shoulders of 16-17 y/o boys." That is so scary when you get right down to it! I love those "boys" to death, but knowing that our job is on the line year in and out makes the winning REALLY important.

We have a great group of seniors this year, they are all a close knit group of friends and that has proved to be important in the past. I know they are nervous too!
We had the community kick off last night with a pep rally, the band, and the cheer squad. It was a great turn-out!

I know Coach is anxious too, but he slept good and that usually means he feels ready. Most people think they don't sleep well, but my Coaching husband always sleeps well when he is the most prepared.

Well, the kids are great.....Tate had is first day of Mothers Morning Out, and he did okay. He cried quite a bit for a while, but then played a bit. He did want to have his taggie and paci most of the day though. I felt horrible! I know he needs to be around other kids and away from Mommy some of the time, but I really hate to see him cry and be so upset, especially since I don't have to leave him. I felt even more guilty b/c I was so excited to have time to myself for once. It was wonderful and all I did was clean the house and run an errand or two. Oh, well, maybe he will take to it.

Reedisms: To Coach this morning: "It's Game Day baby!"
Daily Bug: Telling the teachers bye today at MMO so loudly he about woke up the entire class

Monday and nothing special

So, it is Monday. Reed started his new year of preschool today. He did great, but did not even say goodbye to me, and of course he was not ready to go home. (the kid really loves me). It was harder on poor Tatebug. He cried for "MeReRe" and then kept asking "Where ReRe?" all morning.
Doing well back on the diet, but I am really hungry right now. No excuses, got to finish what I started......and I will dang it! If I can lose 70 then I know I can finish the last 30 in a few months.
Even if it is not 30 I will still settle for 20, that would be a good round number to stop at.

The terrible thing is I am rambling about stupid stuff....so I think I will stop.


Reedisms: "but, I love the junk food" (attempting to get his mother to allow him to eat brownies)
Daily Bug: Well as stated above......"me ReRe"

OMG it has been months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So seriously I haven't posted in months, but I have been really busy! (and just as I began to type the 'bug" has awakened....go figure). Anywho.....we did indeed sell our house to a young couple getting married, and we bought the house we wanted soooo bad here in Ardvegas. Now we are patiently awaiting the first electric bill.....and praying it won't be outrageous. Our summer was hectic, with remolding the new house and moving.

I traveled to MN to attend the residency for my doctorate program....and now I am more confused than ever, but I WILL finish. I met some great gals in MN from GA and SC, I almost hate that I may never actually see them again, but we have been txting and emailing so far.



All is well with the fam, Tate had his MRI in July and all is the same with no changes. He is doing so well, but he is still so small. Reed is, well Reed is Reed. He has some really great days and then he has days where I want to tape his mouth shut.....tightly. He will begin preschool in a little over a week and that will be a great change for him...God bless him he is so much like me and we love schedules and consistency...and the summer just doesn't provide that for either of us.



So the big thing I guess is that FOOTBALL season begins soon and I couldn't be happier. I love when the season is here, we just can't wait until Fridays for the pep rallies, and game days. It is like an addiction. I am so anxious to get it all started with Tiger Night in a week!!



Well I guess in my life of mommyhood that would catch us all up!



Reedisms "Mommy, I will be five this year so don't you shed no tears" double negative and all



Daily Bug- "my toy", "my cup", "my truck", "I do-do"

Thursday, April 10, 2008

It has almost been two months since my last post, seems that having an on-line journal is no easier than a paper one, go figure. Between school work, paying bills, and checking email I just can't seem to find the time to post a few words about my daily life...sad I know.

Our house is still for sale, we have had a lot of lookers and one offer, but nothing has seemed to be right on the money. Coach just recently interviewed for a new job, but did not get it. I am content to be here a bit longer, and truth be known I think he is too. Especially since he knows how much I really like a local house here. I figure he may be reading this, so I can say it again I REALLY like that old house, Coach! No matter, if we stay if we go I be happy.
On a serious note......if Coach doesn't make that dr.s appt I will be making it for him. No playing around....go to the doctor tough guy.

The boys of course are growing and doing hilarious things each day. We have been enjoying the outside a bunch, and I have to say it beats being stuck playing with inside toys ALL DAY LONG!

Still working out every day and sabatoging my efforts each night with either something sweet or with chips and dip....why do I buy these things when I know I can't not eat them.

Well, I am simutaneously downloading pictures while I type and I think they are done.

Question from A Mother's Legacy.
Is there a movie you have watched again and again?
Well, there are lots of movies I have watched again and again, and most of them are movies Coach likes and insists we watch every time they are on....ugh....but movies I have seen b/c I want to.....The King and I, Pretty Woman, Wow...I have drawn a blank......but there is two


Reedisms: Today I showed Reed a picture of a very large catfish. He said in all seriousness, "how many cats did it eat!" He also said thank you in his prayers for the 10 minutes my mommy had time to swing me while she did her yard work......such a guilt trip he has on me

Daily Bug: Well, bug is a climber....he climbs on everything....it is quite a challenge right now to keep him down off the table....but he is loving the song and book, The wheels on the bus and itsy bitsy spider. He also still says bite for everything food or drink related. He gives kisses on demand now, but with a wide open mouth

Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2008

Haven't written in a few weeks, everyone has been sick with something here in the Malone household. There is really nothing new to write about, our house is still for sale and we are hoping that a local builder can build us what we want for what we can afford......story of our lives. I finally got to go back to the gym after a week of no working out......needless to say it has been a bit hard to get back into the swing of things. My legs are killing me.


Tate had his orthopedic appt. Tues. and it looks like he will only have to wear shoe inserts as of right now to help with his instep and walking. He is doing so well. He gets faster and faster everyday.

Began my doctoral degree on Monday, so far not so bad......but I am sure it will get harder as the classes progress. I am excited to start a new chapter of my life/ career/ education. I hope I can put it to good use when I am done. My goal is to be able to teach on-line courses and maybe someday college courses. I do want to one day go back to the classroom, I actually miss the drama of a 6th grade class believe it or not.

Juls had baby #4, Katherine Elisabeth, she came busting in at 10.2 lbs. and 22 inches long.......they are home and doing well.....I can't believe the girl I have known since she was 5 is the mother of 4 under 4! She is an amazing human being!

Reedisms: Reed says, "I had my picture made at school today, and I was a hottie". I reply, "Was anyone else looking good in your class?" Reed says," No, I am the only hottie!" (yes, Reed you truly are!)

Daily Bug: Reed ,wagging his finger, says to Coach, "YOU SAY YOU ARE SORRY TO MOMMA!". Tate beside him also wagging finger, says"DaDa....baby cussing gibberish" just like Reed. Also, we have seen great athletic feats from bug. He is actually really good at throwing and rolling a ball. Much better than his 4 Y/O brother. Coach says he is going to be a natural. Coach is having flash forwards of his son the quarterback!! He is only 1 Coach!!!

Friday, Feburary 15, 2008

Today was a day like any other day.....breakfast, gym, library, car wash, lunch, quiet/nap time, outside, playtime inside, dinner, bath, bedtime......and now I am decompressing from my day. As I write, Reed is still procrastinating sleep locking himself in the bathroom guised as an attempt to get water and pee. I know, as does he, that he is playing with the shark ship parts we left to dry in the sink after bath time.....(time out....saying to Reed....."Reed, quit playing with that stuff and go to bed").

Coach is out of town for the second weekend in a row. I miss him, but it has been nice to have some time to myself once the kids have gone to bed. He gave me the sweetest valentine present. He typed up the words to, "When I Say I Do" by Clint Black. This song was preformed by his Dad at our wedding. Our sermon on Sunday, was about marriage and they played this song....it was funny b/c we kept looking at each other and saying why do we know this song? Duh....we felt really stupid being that it should be sort of significant. Anyway, he thought I should have a copy b/c he really does feel that way about me. Really sweet, I know.

I told my Mom today about the doctoral degree, and I have to say she wasn't totally negative....but she was still pessimistic about how I would have time. I attempted to explain, but reminded myself I DO NOT NEED HER APPROVAL ANYMORE, I AM AN ADULT. I just stopped talking about it and changed the subject. I cant' seem to ever shake the habit of always looking to her for decision validation. It is like if she doesn't agree, I won't be able to succeed. She still tells me I will eventually divorce coach too. So, I shouldn't put to much credit into her opinion. I just love her and I feel I need her to support me. It is such a juvenile relationship. I have been attempting to curb the telling her everything......it has gotten me in so much shit over the years. I just always turn to her when I need someone to talk to, and it always comes back to bite me. Juls (BF) has told me for years to stop telling her anything, but clearly I haven't. She has always been available, when everyone else wasn't. I guess this is bad for both of us.....for me having no other friends, and her allowing me to lean to much on her. She should have told me the first time I went crying to her, to stop it and be an adult.......and I should have known better than to go crying to my mother every time I was hurt or had a fight with coach.

If only I could solve all my problems by typing them out like this.......wouldn't that be nice.

Reedisms: He loves to sing Big and Rich songs. His fav. is Radio (he calls it WHOA, WHOA). He actually has most of the words down and wants to hear it all the time.

Daily Bug: Tate loves to say, "HI" and "top" (STOP) b/c his fav. things are the phone and throwing food from his high chair, which always gets an emphatic stop from me.

Tuesday, Feb. 12, 2008

It has been a few weeks since my last post, I have been busy and just haven't taken the time to type up my thoughts. I have decided to attend Walden University's online graduate school working toward my doctoral degree in education. I am very excited, but a little worried. I love being home with the boys, but I want to maximize my time out of my full time career to advance in my field. I am mainly wanting to break into the field of online instuction and maybe one day a career in college??? Who knows, but I know as much as I loved teaching in a classoom setting, I didn't want to be in one for 30 years! Heck, I liked changing grades every few years anyway.

Anyway, the boys are raring to go.....they have so much energy, and now that Tate is toddling around I have to admit they are a bit more of a handful. I took this picture to print with our Valentine's Day cards.....I just love Reed's "Elvis" face.....even more so, b/c I have that same facial expression. It is cool when you see those little personality quirks in your kids. Well, atleast most of them anyway.......Reed also has a quirky need to be alone for a while during the day......just like his Dad. They sort of crave that time when no one else is around. Reed, being like Coach, is rather stingy and doesn't always share well or even want to play with others. I do worry sometimes about that facet of his personality. Maybe it means he will be a good leader and not need the approval of others. That actually wouldn't be to bad......I have the problem of needing approval for my decisions. My need for validation sometimes cripples my self-esteem. I don't seem like I care, but secretly it eats me alive when someone doesn't like my idea, or agree with me. I subscribe to the theory that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Coach, of course, disagrees. He believes every one NEEDS criticism to grow a protective "thick skin" as he calls it. I am still wondering when that new skin is going to grow in?

Well Thursday is V-Day, and for the second weekend in a row Coach is out of town at a clinic. I don't really mind all that much. I sort of like the time after the kids go to bed. It is quiet and I can watch what I want on T.V. or just take a bath and go to bed. I wouldn't want him to be gone all the time, but every once in a while is just fine with me. Plus, he gets that "man" time they all want.....you know.....beer and the buddies. Plus, on these trips he gets to talk about football all day long for like three days in a row. I know he must be in heaven. I was sharing the fact that he would be out of town at a coaching clinic today in my spin class, and the instructor actually asked me what kind of credibility does a coach have that had the season we had this year. I was so mad. I told him that wasn't very nice to say, and one bad season doesn't make you a bad coach. I felt like that was one of those moments when he opened his mouth and *hit fell out. I can't stand it when people who know nothing about the sport suppose to judge those who dedicate their lives to a sport that, at least in these parts of the south, reign supreme. Well, soapbox there I go......

Reedisms- Last Friday night, Reed was watching the Lion King before bed in his room. I went in to watch it with him after Tate fell asleep, and Reed asked if he could sit in my lap. He sat there for the whole movie. It was great, having my "growing so fast" boy just being mommy's baby. I know I enjoyed it more that he did

Daily Bug: Tate is just so cute, he is in to everything.....his favorite thing is crawling into the kitchen cabinets and hiding from me.......

Friday, Jan. 25, 2007

Gee, look how cute.....I wanted to include a pic of Tate taking some steps being that this has been the highlight of the new year so far. He is toddling all over the place. I feel so proud of him. I love you so much Tate and we are all so happy you are beginning to walk on your own.

(Mom, Me, Tate and Reed, Beach '07) Well, I know now that Dear Old Mom is lurking around reading my blog.....I didn't know she knew what a blog was.....HI MOM...I know you are reading this.....so Big hug and kiss and I love you.

I am pretty sure there is nothing I could write about that hasn't happened to all moms or wives, including my own. Since, I know she is reading this I thought I would say a few things that need to be said everyday.....Thanks Mom for showing me how to be a good mom, being there when I can't a be a good mom, and always reminding me that no one is perfect (no mom either). This will sound wrong, but you were never perfect, never tried to be, but by being that way you showed me that I didn't have to be either. Thanks for all the daily sacrafices and the big ones to (you know what I am talking about)

I know that I am a neat FREAK and can be a bit anal about really silly stuff like dishes in the sink and stuff lying on counters, and I don't know where that came from.....neat would never be a word to describe you. Remember our dining room table in Dickson.....how many times would you say,"That thing is going to get up and walk away!" Even if it could it was way to heavy to move. Actually, I often don't see that as a mother I am a lot like you in any way. I just try my very best to do all I can do to show those toe-headed boys I love them......just like you did for me and "J". I do yell to much......maybe that is what I inherited? I know you say you yelled a lot, but I honestly don't remember it being that excessive. God knows you deserved to yell, we were hellions. I really don't know how you didn't just drop us off at the nearest zoo and be done with it. Anyway, I love you and thanks

Reedisms: Reed says today about his brother......."I'm teaching him to be a dog so he will fetch this and get out of my room". Go Reed......

Daily Bug: Tate lays down in the floor and pretends to be hurt so someone will come over and pick him up pat him and say "it's okay.....ohhhhh poor baby"......it is really cute.

Question from, A Mother's Legacy. Your life story in your own words.

Is there a television show you most enjoy? Well that changes from season to season /year to year and right now with the writer's strike nothing is on anyway.....but my favs would have to be Grey's Anatomy, CSI, Saving Grace, and anything on the HGTV network or TLC( especially What Not to Wear)......all time favorites......Smurfs, Pop-Up Video, Saved by the Bell, Days of Our Lives, Sopranos, West Wing, Dawson's Creek......these really date me don't they......

Tues, Jan. 22, 2007

Here is a picture Reed colored the other day, I thought it was really good for a 4 y/o...but of course I am biased. He really likes to color.....I hope that is normal....b/c he also really likes to play kitchen and crash everything into whatever he can find. So, I guess that last statement shows he is truly male, huh.....plus he can't hear anything I say if the T.V. is on......
So big day for Tate, he took his first steps today. This is a big "step" for him. His PT says he should be walking within the next month, two at the most. We couldn't be more excited....he has had so much trouble with his CP in the area of physical development.....we of course are thrilled. NO, of course, I did not catch this event on camera I was to busy cheering him on....which probably made him fall quicker, but I was so happy. Maybe I get lucky and catch the next steps, the camera is sitting on the desk.

So, I was wondering if the new Coke has no cals/no carbs......what are we drinking exactly.....brown water? I don't drink coke personally, but I have friends who do....and this is their new thing......

I had to leave my spin class early today, b/c the bug got sick at his stomach.....but since then he seems fine.....oh well.

Aunt Flo came to visit today......I am sort of thankful.....I was beginning to wonder if she was going to be late.......not necessarily bad......but not so good either......I am wanting more kiddos, but not right now......to say the least I was glad to have a few more months to think this over.

Reedisms- Reed said today he was going to college, so he needed to eat all his lunch, so he could get big and go......I said that was a great idea, and them he cries and says," but I don't want to grow up right now" So, indecisive

Daily Bug.......oh !the walking definitely.....!!!!

Friday, Janurary 16, 2008

These two pics, are of my boys while traveling back from a friend's house....aren't they cute.....

I just realized that I have still been typing 2007 on everything I have done so far.....go figure! It is Friday, not like that means anything everyday is a weekday for me no matter what!! With the weather being cold, I have had to keep the boys busy with lots of coloring, games, play dough, and yes a lot of T.V. I guess this is okay being that normally we do not watch it during the day. I have been spending so much time reading other blogs, I have gotten very little done in other household areas.....but I just love knowing that I am not alone (nor crazy) in the life and times of mothering. I loved For Better and For Worse today.....http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/ so me.....there are days I just want my job back and to have an uninterrupted lunch, and a paycheck, but mostly I want to feel like a real person, not a snot rag or a butt wiper....a real person. Then I remember what it was like when I worked and Reed was little, he was sick all the time and I missed work at least once a week, and I prayed that I could just stay at home and not have to juggle it all. I cried a lot, and begged coach to just let me stay home......so it really pisses me off when he responds to my daily rants of distaste for SAHMomness....with,"you got what you wanted"! NOT the right thing to say at that time......but I get what he means.

Well, here is my daily dose of A Mother's Legacy. Your life story in your own words.

Question 2: Favorite Book and why: Hmmmm? well, my favorite books of all time where the Chronicles of Narnia. I can still remember my 5th grade teacher (Thanks, Ms. Denise Brison I still love reading b/c of you) reading out loud to us after lunch. I don't have a favorite book as an adult, I just love to read anything.......I am a self-proclaimed magazine junkie, b/c these can be quick reads.

Reedism- Singing that Delilah chorus......"ohh what you do to me,,ohh what you do to me" ALL day. Telling me not to worry"it will turn up", while I was searching for the thermometer.

Daily Bug- Tate getting so mad today when he realized that I had put latches on the entertainment center doors.....he kept pointing at me saying, "no, no"

Thursday, Jan. 17, 2007

Welcome to hell......my Mom always says bad luck comes in threes....well I guess my bad luck can't add, b/c it seems like everything is breaking around here and it is not like we have a whole lot of extra cash laying around. Jan. is always such a long month anyway b/c coach gets paid early in December, and then we travel quite a bit, not to mention all the extra groceries for food and items to take to functions......anyway it started with having to buy a new computer, then the transmission on coach's truck (it has already had two....it is really old) then our DVD/VCR player went out, and now our refrigerator/frezzer stopped working yesterday and everything in it ruined while we were gone all day.......I know what luck!!!! Now, we will either have an enormous service bill or we will be putting yet another whopping amount on the old credit card......after I just paid it off. We can never keep our heads above water very long when it comes to money.....I know it could be worse....and I thank the Lord daily for all the wonderful things I do have.....like the credit card to buy those purchases.....but money STRESSES me out to no end. It makes me cranky and worrisome, and mean to everyone. I just hate worrying about money......and I worry constantly.....unlike coach who seems to never worry about anything at all.....which in turns make me want to strangle him.....but without is ying to my yang I would drive myself batty. He keeps me positive and I keep him grounded, so it works most of the time....yes it is a match made in.....well it works what else can I say.
So, need less to say between the money issues, and pre-menstral symptoms I have been a major B.....no everyone. I am sorry, I even took lunch to coach yesterday as a peace offering for yelling at him.....but I got into it with him again last night over that Damn fridge......did I mention money stresses me out.
Moving on.....today was P.J. day at pre-school and Reed was so excited to get to wear p.j.'s to school (or as we call them jammies) it is strange b/c he never wants to wear them at home. I have officially gotten myself back on the weight loss wagon, the holidays really threw me for a loop, and even though I didn't gain anything I haven't lost in about 8 weeks. I lost a few pounds since last week so I feel like I am back in the game and won't have to many relapses. I saw a friend at the gym yesterday, and she is just getting started on her own journey of health.....and I thought wow that was me 7 months ago.....I was actually amazed at how far I have been able to come 1/2 a year. I really never thought I could be successful....but I can actually say I LOVE to work out......I actually crave it like I used to crave food.....don't get me wrong I still like lots of food, but I don't LOVE it anymore......what I love is burning 600+ calories in spin class or running 3 miles. Well, it is time to wrap today's rant up.......gotta go clean and do some laundry.
Funny thing Reed said.......I was asking everyone what they wanted to eat for lunch, and then I asked Tate what he wanted and Reed said,"Mom, Tate can't talk" Well, thank you so much Mr. Obvious......he is just so matter of fact about everything......
Tate is trying to say thank you.....it is so cute.

Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2007

Today was preschool day, so Reed was there all A.M. He has had some issues with taking items, AKA stealing seashells from the play room. Coach and I have been pretty hard on him, hoping that we make our point clear.....OUR kids will not steal......my Mom assures me every kid does this, but being a teacher, I know where this can go and it isn't so "insignificant" when they are 14! When I picked him up, he said, "Look in my pockets....nothing, can we call Daddy and tell him I didn't thief anything or pee in my pants".....Damn near broke my heart......I guess we got the point across huh? Then we get in the car, and I tell him how much Tate missed him today, he promtly says I miss him too......there goes that heart again......I think of my brother a lot in those cute moments....He (Jason) has been dead now near nine years, but not many days go by that I don't think of him. Reed, so far, is very much like him in his mannerisms and his tendency to be "wild" and to bounce off the walls. While reading one of the many parents magazines, I was glancing over an article about what people say and what they really mean....like "your child is very active"......meaning my god your child is completely insane and he is making me insane watching him run around......that is my blessed child in a nutshell......I love that kid more than life, but he makes my head spin and those days we are together all day long with no break by the time my husband gets home everything I say I am yelling and my patience is as thin as tissue paper.
Anyway, poor Tate.....I accidentally mashed his little fingers with a chair I was moving, then I was trying to move a toy up and out of the ball pit and busted the poor kid's lip.....he is screaming and Reed keeps saying I didn't do it, I didn't do it.....then while he was taking a well deserved nap, he poops on himself and that of course wakes him up and now no nap....so he is in a terrible mood to say the least.
Ok.....so I found this Hallmark book called, A Mother's Legacy. Your life story in your own words. I am going to give one to my Mom and I got one for my MIL and one for myself of course. I am going to attempt to fill it out before I get old and spend my days in an assisted living home.
Anyway, I thought I could blog about some of the topics too.
Here goes number one.
1. My favorite song and why......well song of all time would be, "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. It was my Dad's favorite song and he asked that it played at his funeral. He died in 1994 of pancreatic cancer. Later when my brother died, this song was playing on a tape he had when the crash occurred (this was told to me by the surviving crash victims). So, it was also played at his funeral......I know,,,..... God that is sooooo morbid.....but it carries such a significance in my life, and I can never hear it without thinking of them.......but also the song tells a great story...The Dance, by Tony Arata
"Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone For a moment all the world was right How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I a king But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Yes my life is better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance."
My life is so summed up by this song.......I wouldn't trade one thing that has every happened to me, b/c I might not have right now.......
Funny things Reed said......about not "thiefing" anything and not peeing or pooping his pants
Funny things Tate did today......climbing on top of a box, and them promptly falling off while smiling at his accomplishment.

Monday, Jan. 14, 2007

So today is Monday, and like all Mondays I am doing laundry. We went to the gym this morning, and it is actually cold outside. I know this sounds funny, but it has actually been like in the 60-70's the last few weeks. I hate that! I want just a bit of winter, before we all go back to sweating to death.....anyway the boys are playing wonderfully today and so far no fighting or screaming by anyone....even me! I read the comics yesterday and I really love "Baby Blues" and "For Better and For Worse", I guess b/c I can relate so well. In the FBFW comic the mom is working hard on sewing something and the kid keeps asking do you love me, do you love me, and she keeps working ignoring him , and finally the kids says well do you like me, and she screams at him that she would like him to go away, and after he leaves crying she thinks to herself she could have handled that better. I feel this way on a daily basis. I have to admit I do not do well, just finding time to play with my boys, do crafts, etc......I know some may read this and say well if you'd get your ass of this computer you could play with them right now.....well you are exactly right, but most of the time I do not journal/blog during the day so anyone thinking that can truly bite me. No really, I will play blocks, cars, color, do puzzles, but we don't like make make-shift tents or pretend a lot around here, mostly b/c we stay so busy,and I lack an imagination of any sort! I do have original ideas, and when I do them they always turn out bad and a huge mess is made, and them I end up stressed out and now i have to clean more crap up. Why am I like this???? My best friend says it is b/c I am so anal-retentive that my butthole won't let up enough to allow me to make a mess.....i guess there is a whole lot of truth to that....but I am not going to straight up admit it. Well, i do need to make some lunch for the daring duo.....peace

Funny thing Reed has done today.......still holding a grudge against me for not letting him "win" a game of musical chairs in Sunday school yesterday. He cried and apologized for acting ugly and hitting me, then for hours went on and on about how he doesn't want me to teach Sunday School anymore, b/c he wants to win at stuff.

Funny things Tate has done today.....tickling Reed's feet and playing "peepeye" with the shower curtain...only he pulls the curtain back and says "pie" and laughs hysterically.

Saturday, Jan. 11, 07

So, I have practically kept a journal my whole life. I can go back and read about how I felt and who I "loved" in the 5th grade. I have written about my life in great detail and no one has read a word....until now of course. Even when Reed, my oldest was born I actually wrote about his daily life with much love and description. However, now that I have two boys months will go by and I haven't written a word about anything. I am always on the computer, doing some sort of business, so I figured if I am already using it daily I will spend atleast a few minutes everyday sorting it all out for myself in this blog. Today was like any other Saturday, I was in my p.j.s until afternoon. Coach (my hubby) make so much fun of me for doing this, but it is usually the only day that I get to just veg out and do as little as possible. Even my son, asked me today to go put on clothes that is was not nightime anymore. My boys ,like many siblings, fight with one another over every toy in this house. No one wants it, until somebody has it....go figure. This fact drives my husband crazy. I say it is normal, let them work it out but he (and his only child background) have no concept of this. I do step in if I believe bloodshed may occur, due to the fact that I am with them 24/7 these little tats are normal and do not require my constant attention. This is yet another thing that drives my husband crazy. As for Reed, he stayed in trouble all day because we were stuck in the house b/c of the weather. I finally decided we should go to the field house( HUBBY IS A FOOTBALL COACH) and let the boys play on their bike/walker. This is always a hit for everyone, b/c dad can get some work done, the boys play, and Mom gets a workout without having to go all the way to the gym. This is the highlight of the off season for me. Tate the baby, loves to get as dirty as possible in the weight room, but my grandmother always said that every baby had to eat so much dirt to keep worms away......she always has words of wisdom for me that really gross me out. But, neither of mine have had worms, so maybe there is some truth to it. Coach cooked dinner and gave boys a bath (we know what he wants later, hehe) but is was nice to get a break from it for a day. He doesn't do this very often....actually I think that was like the second time ever he has bathed both of them and put their pjs on and cleaned up the bathroom,,,,,,hell he deserves what he wants later just for the effort.
Funny things Reed did today.......Phonectically sounding out the name Rapheal to my in-laws (ninja turtle) which came out "Raph-elle".
Funny things Tate did today.......pointing at me when he knows he is doing something he should not..... guess this is a pre-cursor to telling on himself......maybe he will keep this trait when he is a teenager......